Mamma's Baby and Daddy's Maybe

Think of it from a child's point of view. Life can be funny and in some ways while in other instances it can make you want to all out cry or maybe even just give up. BUT don't because it does get greater later in life.

My focus today is more so on those children and some young adults that find their selves stuck because they may have lost their parents or parent to the streets, to the opposite sex, to the parties, to the lack of commitment, to adoption, to death, to irresponsibility, to divorce and to so much more because the list can go on for days.

I'm speaking about the children that grow into young adults that have those insecurities that have followed them into adulthood, growing up without one or both of their parents thus leaving room in their life for them to wonder for a lifetime who the other half of them is or where they came from, wondering who they are in their blood, in their genes and in their everyday walk and talk. Leaving them to wonder what was wrong with them that their mother or father choose to go another direction that didn't include them? Moms or dads that found it easy to go out and start brand new families and not incorporate them, it made me ask the questions of how a parent could make so many children and not think it was important for them to know one another.

IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU COULD SEE INTO THE FUTURE

Questions arise once a child starts to grow up and wonder where they got their temper from when their mother was so mild mannered in their fathers absence, the questions of who the other part of you are and where you came from will also flood your mind, questions of how you are so artistic when the side of your family that you grew up with weren't. You wonder if you got your hairline from your father, which your children cut off each time they get a haircut, you may also find yourself wondering if you have more siblings than you knew you had and wonder if they know about you too. You can also find yourself chasing answers hoping for a resolution to your confusion but be careful because it's easy to get sucked into the what if's instead of looking at the real deal and the fact that either one or both of your parental figures are or were absent from your life, leaving you to pave your own road and follow it too. I am not only speaking of the confusion of feeling lost in who you may be but i am speaking of the feeling of abandonment and the selfish nature that must come along with a person that can disappear from your life without a wonder of who you became with or without them in your life. In that case i feel sorry for them because they are ultimately without you.

Sometimes parents don't think about the kids in instances where they can't see eye to eye with the person that they made a child with however in your growth as a person please never allow your differences to become the differences that your children have to live with because of your inability to stand up and deal with one another as adults. Remember at one time you loved each other enough to make a baby. So i say!!!! love the baby enough to give them a mother and a father even if you decide that the person you made a child with is not for you.

PARENTS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

The children never have to be the ones to suffer unless you allow it. Unfortunately my parents allowed it and I became one of the oh so well known statistics, a victim of circumstance never really knowing who the other half of me was, until i realized, with or without them in my life, i would become what life's lessons taught me, i learned to live the learn and grow and move forward taking the best parts of my memories with my parents and treasuring those. I found that holding onto either of their absence would be hindering to my life. I had to forgive them for being selfish.I understand that at times one or the other parent may not be ready for a baby or the responsibility that comes with having children but please remember that you yes you did the grown up and now you have to be a grown up. Raising children comes along with the dedication to their growth and their happiness so try to minimize the confusion that you may impose on your children because it is real.

So gentlemen before you decide to go out and be fruitful in each of the five boroughs think about the consequences to your actions down the road because they can catch up to you. We live in a small world and there is nothing more disturbing than to find out that you could have slept with one of your siblings because your parents neglected to tell you that you had siblings right in the next borough or the next town over. Ewwwwww, I'm lucky that it didn't happen to me when i was growing into adulthood however it could have easily happened with my living 45 minutes from my siblings and to make matters worse i worked about fifteen minutes from where they lived. Maybe one day we will meet.

Their choice not mine. Parents fault not ours.

MISDIRECTED ANGER or DENIAL

As we grow into young adults our dependence of our parents being a constant presence in our lives kind of slips away a bit especially if you have not had that type of consistent relationship with them growing up, so when the siblings come to the forefront and actually realize that more than just them exists i ask why not just be receptive to who you share blood with and welcome the love of a sibling. Think about it, one is no better than the other, None had their parents from day one to day end so in short he or she left us all at one point or another. Parents can be different people to each of their kids depending on the circumstances but i say wake up parents and tell your kids your story or who you are and who they are. Siblings if your parents are not around to share their story then stand up and make your own. Don't be angry at siblings that grew up suffering the same absent parent that you did, try to be receptive to getting to know them; you may have more in common than you know.

GROW UP AND TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

• In life you will learn that chasing what is not chasing you is a waste of time.

• If you felt rejected as a child, let go of that and surround yourself with those that welcome you.

• Know that you are better than you believed your were growing up.

• Be a better parent to your children than our parents were to us.

• Don't dish out the same sense of rejection that you received growing up.

• Practice being committed if commitment has been a struggle in your family.

• Understand that your parents choices should not be your struggles.

• There is no easy way out. Work through and get to know the better you.

• If you have children in your life teach them to love themselves so that they will be more receptive to loving.

• Don't blame yourself for your parents decisions, just make better ones.

• Be open to learning more about your lineage even if it does not include your parents.

• Or keep it simple and stay away from everything that your parents kept you from, no judgement here.

• Just know that being non receptive to your blood does not make them any less your blood, it just keeps the illusion of that parent in tact for you along with the package wrapped in a pretty bow that says do not open - (SECRET family inside). Funny but so not.

NOT ENOUGH WORDS

So much to say on this topic however it would turn into a book so i will just keep it as a blog and remind you that:

love is always love.

• Sharing is caring.

• Holding onto the pain of the past or the pain of rejection can only hinder your growth.

• Perk up and raise your head up high. love who loves you and get to know who is receptive to knowing you however do not punish yourself or your family for your parents choices.

• Be a better parent, be more consistent, be a person that is not afraid to commit to what they create.

• Understand that there is no competition of who is the better daughter or who is the better son, who our parents could have loved more or who they loved less, the fact of the matter is at one point or the other he or she left us all so all we were was alone and confused.

• Not one of us but all of us at any given time grew up without.

• Be better than you had growing up.

• Only a coward runs from their own creation onto something easier for their mind frame to handle. Don't be that dude or that chic!

Tip of the Century

If you do not want children - wrap it up because once the child is here your excuses are just that! Excuses.

Song for the moment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXiQtD5gcHU&list=RDnXiQtD5gcHU&start_radio=1

Blessings and Bests

Precious Unique

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