Managing Two Horizons

They say that men are from Mars and woman are from Venus which may very well be true in some instances; however i would rather say that some people are from Mars and other people are from Venus.

No man or woman is like another

See people as individuals

not as a continuation to what you left behind

or the inability to move forward will be present in your future.

Some of the most exciting times are in the early stages of most relationships, what many people call the honeymoon faze. Be careful to see with both eyes open because the early stages is when the representative of the person that you may be dating comes out. Everything in your world seems perfect and you feel this constant adrenaline rush flowing through your body begging to know what's next and in store for you and your new man or woman. When suddenly time knocks on the door slipping a note through the cracks that says "honeymoon over".

Sometimes we can be so taken aback by the real person that steps forward that we may find ourselves frantically looking around to see if we are on candid camera or something; to later realize that no!!! There is no camera and yes!!! This is the person that you have chosen. Funny but not!

There is no age limit to silly arguments;

just wasted breath on borrowed time.

If you got lucky with your mate and everything is always blissful than blessings to you and your union but for those out there that may feel like they have been misled by the representative of the person that they may be dating i say that we all make choices and maybe it's time for you to review yours.

I know It sucks when you find out that you have not gotten what you thought you signed up for in a "courtship" and that is why it is so important to first have knowledge of self. If you know what you want and deal with like minded people you may find that stress in a relationship is the least of your worries.

Not knowing yourself and being in a relationship can be like walking down a dark alley way, tied to a friend that is wearing a blindfold. Picture that! Not many people want to take that route however find themselves in the midst of confusion because they don't know what they want nor do they know who they are until they are in a situation where they feel like they are not getting what they feel they want for the moment. Go Figure!!!

No one is exempt from experiencing life issues in their relationship at some time or another with their girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, lover/mistress and yes even the fair weather friend with benefits have trouble in paradise sometimes. There is no perfect relationship however understanding some of the differences that you may have with your mate can be helpful. Listening is imperative in a relationship. If you don't hear how will you know? If you don't care than don't listen but don't forget to tell the person talking to you that you are not listening. This gives the other person the opportunity to make a choice. Do i keep talking and be ignored or save my breath and walk away. Sometimes you have to lose in order to win.

A Few General Observations

If we care about the relationships that we are in then we make the effort needed to learn about and to appreciate the differences that we have in our loved ones by nurturing them and creating strength through the bond. If you care there is no question of time. You make time.

• Most woman are nurtures by nature and like to have their feelings recognized and not ignored.

• Some men like to have their abilities recognized and do not like your form of constructive criticism.

• Some men like to work alone to figure out a solution to a problem.

• Most woman want to know what their man is thinking so that they can help them find a quick solution. Sometimes you have to pull back and let him handle it on his own. Big boy status.

• When a woman is hurting she will most likely want to talk about it. If you care listen to her. Uninterrupted.

• When a man is facing tough issues he may become quiet in the attempts to figure out how best to work it out, and when they do choose to communicate they like to get straight to the point.

• Woman at times talk themselves through things leaving room for misunderstandings and little clarity.

• In most relationships a man needs to feel that his attention is needed and a woman needs to feel that her needs are being attended to.

• Men may run for cover if they feel that their identity is being tested or if too much change happens all at once. If you see him pulling back in fear of losing himself please give him the time and space he needs to get a grasp on his choice. You never want to pressure people into a choice that you may live to regret. Be careful of what you ask for.

Simple

If you find yourself checking your mates phone for any extra curricular activities that you feel he or she may be engaging in than there is either something wrong with your self esteem or it's time to check that relationship. Learn that people hide things in plain sight all the time, but if you feel the need to search than please do some self checking and rethink your current relationship status because something is not right. How would you categorize the attraction that you feel with your mate and how would want to be considered? Definitions:

Objective Attraction- the man finds a woman attractive on an objective, impersonal level. This is the “rate me by my photo” level of attraction. It is non-dynamic, meaning it requires seeing a woman at a distance or not in person. So no real connection just surface affection.

Subjective Attraction- this is where a man finds a woman attractive on personal, even visceral level. This is what we mean by “chemistry.” This is heavily dynamic, and probably relies on body language clues, smell and maybe pheromones/hormones. As such, requires close proximity.

Horizon- the line at which the earth's surface and the sky appear to meet. The limit of a person's mental perception, experience, or interest.

Blessings and Bests

Precious Unique